As the year comes to a close and hectic holiday plans subside, people often feel pressured to come up with some type of resolution to better themselves or to ultimately change their lives. You often hear the generic, ‘this year I will’ lose weight, save money, get that promotion, or find love. However, these goals are often too broad and seemingly unattainable that they slip from your mind and are swept under the rug long before plans of spring cleaning.
And more importantly, long before Valentine’s Day rolls around. What if, instead of simply setting empty resolutions with no due date whatsoever, you set a pre-emptive resolution. What if you gave yourself a 4 week, pre-Valentine’s Day challenge?
This year, I challenge you to reflect on one thing that you want the most and take ownership of your goal – with a specific due date in mind to keep yourself in check!
Seriously. What is preventing you from finding the love of your life or landing that dream job? Oftentimes, it is your subconscious thoughts that are holding you back from acknowledging what you want and working up the courage to go after it.
Here are 5 steps you can take to plan in advance – to get yourself in order before that ominous day comes up — that will help you to send out a new, positive message to the world that you are great and worthy of the things you truly desire. Although the following steps can help you work toward many goals, let’s look at how they can help you to find love, or at least a first date before the 14th. Let’s make this Valentine’s Day one you are actually looking forward to.
Whatever you are doing, whether you are at a board meeting or in a coffee shop, be present! If you are fully committed to giving something your full attention, it is more likely you will portray your best self to others and that you will subsequently be taken more seriously. If you agree to a date, be respectful of your time and his/hers and focus on that one person regardless of other obligations on your mind. Put your phone down and smile at someone in passing. You could be surprised how much more approachable you are, and find yourself having a conversation with someone new. At the very least, this will help you to relieve stress of external forces and encourage you to prioritize your focus on the task at hand.
Don’t sit back and wait for a new opportunity to present itself. If there is someone you are interested in, stop daydreaming about them approaching you and take a risk. Go ahead and ask them out! Or if you find yourself wasting your time messaging someone who never returns the effort, or reserving your date nights for the person who occasionally reaches out to you after 10pm, cut them off. Speak up and take action towards the things you want, and eliminate the things you don’t. You can’t expect people to read your mind and understand exactly what you are feeling or thinking if you do not effectively communicate this to them and set precedent.
If you are consciously aiming towards a goal, share it with a close friend, coworker, or family member. Having someone who will root for you and send encouragement your way is great motivation and will help to hold yourself accountable. Also, it is great to get a new perspective and you never know what you can learn and who/what they may introduce you to.
Be Kind to Yourself.
You will be much happier if you stop being your own devil’s advocate, dwelling on mistakes, and doubting yourself. If you are giving it your all, reflect on your efforts and talk to yourself in a positive way. Be yourself and know that it is enough. Know your worth and that you should not have to compromise your values.You exert much more confidence when you take time to nurture your body and mind on a daily basis, and confidence is one of the most attractive qualities one can possess. Own up to how great you are and truly believe it, then others will follow your lead and start to believe it too.
Be More Receptive.
Listen to perspectives that differ from your own and explore new opportunities. Attend a meeting or event that you have not been to in the past and chances are you will learn something or meet someone new. Agree to a date with someone that may not fit the normal mold of what you find attractive. Otherwise, it is likely you are creating a barrier and limiting your chances of finding the love you want. Instead of overanalyzing interactions, practice receptivity to your senses and what they are telling you. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Things do not always come easy and sometimes there is a hiccup along the way, but you wouldn’t hesitate to book the adventure of a lifetime because of the inconvenience of jet lag. Although it may take some adjusting, the more you practice displaying these habits, the more natural they become and the benefits are immeasurable.
Before you know it, Valentine’s Day will be here. Try this challenge, and we assure you, that holiday will feel so much better this time around. Here’s to a positive Valentine’s Day in the making!