As the world sends a collective “see ya!” to 2016, it’s time to start thinking about your New Year’s resolutions. And perhaps instead of yet another fitness goal, this year, you’re going after something really important. Because, honestly, isn’t love the most important thing out there? For 2017, take charge of your love life and make changes that will send you in the right direction toward finding love. If you don’t focus on your love life, who else will? Here are a few key tips from an expert, our Three Day Rule CEO and one of the best matchmakers out there, Talia Goldstein.
1) Update your profile pictures
Most people don’t have a set time each year when they update their photos. Make yours the new year. There is nothing worse than showing up to a date with someone who doesn’t look like their profile photos. You know the feeling! Be honest with yourself and take a hard look at your own photos. If they are a few years old, it’s time to refresh – you’ll only be hurting yourself if you keep those old photos hanging around. Get professional photos taken (it’s worth it!) or even ask a friend to take new pics so your photos are current. Don’t forget to tell a story through your photos so you can showcase different sides of your personality. Include recent photos from travel, or your hobbies, which will also encourage more swipes and messages. Your date will be so happy from the get-go that you look like your pictures, that every date will go more smoothly.
2) Widen your preferences
As matchmakers, people come to us and tell us they want something very specific. Sometimes we match them with someone pretty different from their initial description, and they end up getting married. Fortunately, our clients trust us to find them real love, but if those people had been online dating, they probably would have swiped past their soulmate.
It’s very important to be open-minded when it comes to dating. If you are only searching for men over 5’10” or women under a certain age, you are probably missing out on great singles. As a test, ask your married friends if they married someone who “checked all the boxes.” Nine times out of ten, your friends will tell you they didn’t. They were surprised that the person they fell in love with and built a great life with didn’t come in the package they expected it to, but they’ll tell you they are so happy with their choice. In 2017, make it your mission to widen your search.
3) Be Proactive
This is especially important for women. If you see someone online that you are interested in, message him. If you are at a party and you see a cute guy, go up and talk to him. Don’t wait around! Once you land the first date, you can go back to being traditional if you prefer, but if the date never happens, you’ll have missed your chance to see what a gentleman he can be.
And guys, you can always stand to be more proactive too. It can be stressful or intimidating to ask a women out directly, or to actually pick up the phone and call her instead of texting, but we promise, she’ll like it. Women are flattered when you are forward, and then you’ll know right away if she’s interested, or not, so you won’t have to wonder.
4) Give someone a second shot
It’s important to remember that the best husbands aren’t always the best daters. Just because a first date wasn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean it’s not a match. If you are remotely attracted to your date and they were a kind person, give it one more shot. There are so many happy couples who had rough first dates, and those bad dates eventually become cute stories.
As you’re starting 2017, think back to your 2016 dates, and maybe revisit some of those people. Did you cast them aside for something petty, like a goofy laugh or something in their teeth at dinner? Don’t be afraid to reach back out to them. It’s never too late for a better second date.
5) Pick a new dating site or try something new (like matchmaking)
If you used Bumble in 2016, try Match in 2017. Or the League. Or Hinge. Or work with a matchmaker! Trying the same thing over and over and getting the same bad results is the definition of insanity, isn’t it? Matchmakers will set you up with quality dates and give you valuable feedback after each date. Perhaps you’re coming across too strong? Or you are turning dates into interviews. Working with a matchmaker is the best way to become a better dater.
Interested in learning more about working with a TDR matchmaker? Sign up and we’ll set up a time to connect. Have an amazing New Year!!