We’re in the business of helping people get into relationships, but we’re often approached with questions about new relationships as well. Here are some tips from our CEO Talia Goldstein about keeping love alive.
Give Them Your Full Attention
It’s so easy to get distracted by your iPhone or Pokemon Go. When your partner is talking, put the phone down and listen and show them that you value what they are saying. When you are at dinner, put your phone away completely. Every time you pick up the phone during dinner, you are essentially saying “whatever is on my phone is more important than you right now.” It’s not a great feeling to be on the receiving end of that.
Be the Old You (the Romantic You)
There is a reason why your partner fell in love with you. Over time, you naturally feel more comfortable with each other and try a little less. You start sleeping a little further apart than you used to, you don’t kiss quite as much, the compliments start dwindling. These changes happen so slowly that you don’t notice them day to day. But if you continue down this path, you may end up as just friends. It’s important to put in extra effort to do the things you did when you first met your partner. These things can be simple ways to show you’re thoughtful – write them a note and put in their work bag, plan a surprise date, or take them on a spontaneous trip. Be the couple you were when you first met.
Know Your Partner’s Love Language
Everyone feels loved in different ways. For some people, coming home to a clean house and dinner on the table is the equivalent of saying “I love you.” Some people view affection as saying I love you while others view gifts as the best way to express love. Everyone is different. Figure out what makes your partner feel loved and focus on that love language. If you don’t know, ask. You might be surprised by their answer.
Balance Career & Personal Lives
These days many people prioritize career over their personal life. It’s understandable because for many of us, our career is a 24/7 type job. Some people are building rockets while others are attorneys, publicists, or doctors. These jobs are all very important and don’t stop at 5pm. However, if you don’t have boundaries with your work, you will rarely see your partner and that can ultimately kill a relationship. Do your best to take vacation days or come home early when you can. Since that is easier said than done, even if you come home at 9pm, spend quality, undistracted time with your partner so you can try to make up for lost time together.
Acknowledge That Relationships Are Hard
It’s important to remember that relationships are hard. Some weeks are incredible, while other weeks not so much. If you really like the person you are with or even love them, you should do your best to work through your issues. While it may be tempting to hop right on an app and find someone else, you should remember that 1st dates are easy to come by but finding a connection with someone is a lot harder. If you have that with someone, do your best to work it out so you have no regrets later. If it doesn’t work, then you move on knowing you gave it your all.