Remember the movie Hitch? Well, Three Day Rule has our own wingman secret weapon. Thomas Edwards, the Professional Wingman, works with both men and women on their dating strategies as a date coach for Three Day Rule. He’s one of the most sought-after dating consultants in the industry, and we’re proud to have him as part of our team. What’s the best part about having Thomas on board? He’s full of all of the best advice.
We often get hear from women that they never get hit on, and Thomas summed up why this might be with six tips that you can start using today to be more approachable.
- You have a low approachability rating.
Edwards says, “This rating will determine not only how many guys approach you but also their quality. There are many things that make women approachable, but I believe the most important ones are what she’s wearing, where she’s positioned in a given venue, whether or not she’s smiling, who she’s hanging out with, and her general body language.” It’s important to be yourself, but be aware of what vibes you’re putting out, because that’s what you’ll get back in return.
- You don’t venture out of your comfort zone.
“The guy she’s looking for exists outside of her comfort zone, so it’s important she meets him there, which means doing things she may typically not do, or not want to do,” Edwards advises.
Women often say they want men to make bold gestures, or be creative, but women should embrace adventure too. Being in slightly uncomfortable situations together is actually a great way to get to know someone.
- You’re being too understated.
Edwards explains, “Guys need overt visual cues to know not only whether or not they’re good to approach, but if you’re open to it. It’s no surprise that men are very visual, so what you might think is a subtle cue, the man sees as non-existent.”
Flip your hair, bat your eyes, and look over your shoulder as you walk past him. If he feels like he has the go-ahead, and isn’t going to be rejected, he’ll be sure to start the conversation.
- You panic when there’s eye contact.
“One big thing I see women do often is they’ll look around for a cute guy, and when eye contact is made they freak out, not only causing their facial expression to change but also making the guy feel they’re not interested. This also happens when women are in mid-thought, as their facial expression tends to be more serious and less approachable.”
Be suave. Be flattered that someone likes you, not thrown off. If you act like you’re used to it, it will make you look even more desirable. And for goodness sakes, be aware of your resting face.
- Your arms are crossed.
Crossed arms rarely, if ever, convey the right message. “Another social cue I see happen often is the crossing of the arms. We’re all victims of this. If we don’t feel comfortable in a given situation or environment, our bodies trigger a defense mechanism to try to recreate that comfort as quickly as possible. The problem with that is guys perceive this as women being uncomfortable with (read: uninterested in) any guy approaching them.”
This is an easy fix, and one you can help your friends with when you’re out too.
- Your body language is not welcoming.
Edwards explained the acronym SOLD that he learned from body language expert Blanca Cobb, which he says is perfect when it comes to women wanting to get guys to interact with them.
SOLD stands for Smiling (women who smile more get approached much more than women who don’t), Open body language (showing comfort with her own body and the environment she’s in), Leaning or Listening (leaning toward what we’re most attracted to), and Direction (actually facing the person you’re interested in).
Women don’t like to be told to smile when they don’t want to, and that makes complete sense. But if you are happy, you should smile. Often we’re not aware of what our bodies are doing, so it’s not a matter of faking it, it’s a matter of accurately reflecting your openness.
Men are looking for women who are easy-going and open to new things, and that’s you! So let your best self show through, and you’ll be sure to be hit on even more.
These awesome tips are from Thomas Edwards, resident date coach and expert at Three Day Rule and CEO of The Professional Wingman.
Want to hear more from Thomas? Set up time to meet with him for a date coaching session here.