According to Webster’s Dictionary, Body language is “a kind of nonverbal communication, where thoughts, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviors, such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space.” On a date, especially a first, everything you say is important- but to the surprise of many- nonverbal communication is paramount.
Have you ever stopped to think what messages your body is conveying on a date? Regardless of your answer – below is some valuable insight to use to your advantage.
Even though many of us are seeking different traits, qualities and looks in a future partner- when we meet someone of interest, all of us want them to find us attractive.
How do we send those signals?
Thanks to a number of awesome professionals; including Anthropologists, Sexologists, Psychologists, and others – the information is at our finger tips. I have highlighted some of Dr. Helen Fisher’s work below.
Dr. Helen Fisher, Rutgers University anthropologist, claims that the human body knows within a matter of seconds whether someone’s physically attractive or not. Here are the body language cues that humans find most attractive:
- Availability: Both men and women find people with available body language the most attractive. Available body language is smiling, uncrossed arms, and uncrossed legs.
- Fertility: Whether you want/plan on having children or not. Fertility is part of our attraction hardwiring. Humans are tuned into body language cues that signal fertility and youth. In today’s dating world many of us are dating well past our most fertile years. Luckily, youth and fertility can be emphasized with body language.
- Guys, standing up straight, squaring the shoulders, planting feet slightly more than shoulder width apart and displaying hands are all signs of fertility.
- Ladies, keeping your hair down (and giving it a sexy flip!), tilting your head to expose pheromones and keeping hands and wrists visible to display the soft skin of the wrists are highly attractive for men.
- Confidence: Have you heard of the power pose? Try Amy Cuddy’s suggestions for feeling great about yourself, and you just might. Even when you’re not feeling super confident on a date, there are poses you can strike (perhaps not in public, but before the date!) that can get you pumped up so you’re on your A-game.
The material above is just the tip of the iceberg. If are trying to highlight your best qualities (you should!) while dating, you owe it to yourself to not only be a great conversationalist, but also a great non-verbal communicator.
Knowledge is power!
by Jaime Bernstein, DC Matchmaker
Like Jaime’s style? Why not book a meeting with her? Set up a meeting with her today – it’s free, and she has lots more great advice where that came from.