By: Trish Encina, Three Day Rule Matchmaker
Have you ever felt that all the good men were taken? Or asked yourself “how did that guy get that girl?” Well you’re not alone! About 50% (Approximately, 124.6 million American adults) are single. So, although you may feel like you are the only un-hitched person around, think again. For the first time, in a historically long time, there are more single adults than married ones. With 52% of Bostonians being single, I’d venture to say that at least a half of them feel the way you do.
Allow me to introduce a commonly used economics principle that does an amazing job of explaining why you still may be single or into someone you never thought you’d like.
The concept: Supply and Demand. At a high level, demand refers to how much of a product is desired by buyers. Supply represents availability in the market. For the purpose of this post, consider yourself the supplied good and your available potential matches the buyers.
The living concept of “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” puts things into perspective. With a large supply of single people and a population who believe that you’re readily replaceable, how do you get someone to “buy in” to you?
As a white-glove Matchmaker, I hear more and more, “he was great, exactly what I asked for but I just didn’t feel it.” Or, “she was definitely my type but something wasn’t there.” So to this phenomenon I propose, like my good friend (in my dreams) Simon Sinek, to open your eyes to the Golden Circle. Although, his message is depicted for business, I challenge that the same ideas be applied in your dating life. His major point is that to drive the behavior you need to inspire. He talks about the patterns and trends among the most successful people and companies. They think, act and communicate the same way – the complete opposite of everyone else. That’s how you become a rare wanted fish in a sea of many. How you get him to call back, and how you get the second date with her. You must inspire.
How do you inspire, you ask? Simple. Next time you’re on a date, don’t talk about what you do and how you do it. Talk about why you do everything that you do. Like Simon says, 100% of people know what they do, some know how they do it and few people know why they do what they do. Inspired people act from their beliefs, regardless of who they are and what they have. So instead of “I’m an X at Y”, talk about your purpose, your cause and what you believe in. Because that, my friend, is the fastest way to distinguish yourself amongst the sea of fishes. It’s also what probably happened the last time that you dated someone that was “not your type,” but you wanted to see them again. They moved you – from the inside out.
Single people, just like you, are in over supply. If you want to distinguish yourself, you need to create demand. To create demand, you must inspire. To inspire, start with why you do what you do, not with What you do!