TDR_Suze LeeBy: Suze Lee, Three Day Rule Matchmaker

Have you ever been “ghosted” in a relationship before? The term refers to the sudden and unexpected disappearance of someone you’ve been dating. When this happens, you’re left hanging and questioning if you were ever really in a relationship to begin with.  Unfortunately, it’s something that happens all too often and completely sucks.

The term isn’t necessarily new but the action is all too common. It becomes increasingly
frustrating when a relationship ends—but to not even know why it ended makes it difficult to move on and have closure. It’s definitely a cowardly move. If people could be more open about their feelings and provide honest explanations as to why they no longer want to date someone, it would create less heartache in the world.

So, how exactly should you deal with ghosting?

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Flickr/Lies Thru a Lens

It all depends on the situation. If you go from daily contact via phone calls or texting to a  noticeable amount of dwindling communication, please don’t be afraid to show some initiative and ask what’s going on. Maybe he or she is waiting for you to start the conversation that they might be avoiding. It’s very possible that you could get them to open up and reveal how they’re really feeling.

But, also make sure you don’t overly bombard them with messages, emails, and texts. You have every right to speak your mind and let them know how you’re feeling. However, if they continue to ignore your calls, you don’t want to become a stalker. It will only push a ghost further away from getting back to you.

Will the ghost ever return?

Flickr/Take Back Your Health Conference
Flickr/Take Back Your Health Conference

If your ghost has already taken off and there’s no way to ever get answers, you need to do what’s best for you and move on! Remember: if someone starts fading away instead of telling you the truth, they aren’t worth your time. If they don’t even have the human decency or respect to give you a reason, they aren’t worth your time.  Don’t spend your time or energy seeking out answers you’re probably never going to get. When you’re hurting, it’s hard to realize that you’ve dodged a bullet. This is not someone you can rely on when things get difficult if all they do is run away when you need them most. Good riddance!

Although it will take a minute to heal, it’s good to focus on yourself and get back to why you’re such a great catch to begin with.  Spend time with your friends doing fun activities, exercise and work out to get your endorphins going again, and spend some quality time with yourself. When you meet the right person, they will treat you with love and respect instead of vanishing like the ghosts you’ve had to deal with in the past!

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