By: Heather Noman, Three Day Rule Matchmaker
I spend every day talking with incredible, eligible women from all walks of life, and one thing is clear: we aren’t always interested in dating the nice guy. Instead, we choose to date that other guy – the one that’s intriguing, sexy, extremely confident, and maybe even aloof. The instant chemistry is exciting but eventually, the dust will settle and his bad boy antics will emerge. The highs are high but the lows are frequent. You’ll feel that something is missing. Perhaps you are secretly hoping he will change down the line. But, time for a reality check: If we date bad boys, we marry bad boys (if it even gets that far). It’s time to stop the cycle.
Here are 6 reasons why every woman should consider dating the nice guy:
1) You can actually introduce him to your family
Nice Guy: Nice guys are considerate and treat people with respect. It is obvious that they care about you and have your best intentions at heart. Their thoughtfulness and generosity are sure to win the favor of your family and friends.
Bad Boy: There is always an excuse for why he can’t meet your family or introduce you to his. And, when he finally does show up to dinner with your parents, he’s late, cuts out early, or doesn’t make much of an effort. You’re left making excuses for him and feeling disappointed.
2) He won’t leave you wondering
Nice Guy: If he likes you, he has no problem expressing his feelings. If he wants to talk to you, he will call you. And, if he doesn’t think that it could be long-term, he will be man enough to tell you. He won’t lead you on or leave you wondering. He isn’t afraid to be honest. In fact, he feels he should be open about his feelings because he actually respects you.
Bad Boy: He texts you when he feels like it or when it’s most convenient for him. He’ll wait two weeks to respond to your texts. He evades questions about the relationship because the current, undefined arrangement is working for him. You’re left wondering if he’ll ever be ready to make it official between the two of you.
3) He will introduce you to his friends
Nice Guy: Nice guys are open, honest and straightforward. They are excited about you and can’t wait to introduce you to their friends. They want you to be a part of their whole life, not just on the sidelines or on a Friday night at 11 pm when they’re feeling lonely.
Bad Boy: You have been dating for months and just realized you haven’t met a single one of his friends. He either doesn’t have any or is keeping you separate from the rest of his social life. In any case, his behavior is a big red flag.
4) No more questions and games
Nice Guy: When you are dating a nice guy, things become easy. You hang out because you want to hang out. You don’t find yourself obsessing over every detail or questioning his next move. Instead, you can suddenly relax and enjoy getting to know him. Nice guys have no need for games. They make sure you feel comfortable with any situation. You know exactly where you stand with him.
Bad Boy: He calls when he needs you and somehow isn’t there when you need him. You are left wondering: “Are you in a relationship? Should you Facebook friend him? Is he still dating other people? Is he really that busy with work or is he not interested? Why doesn’t he act affectionate towards me in public?” There is a never-ending list of questions and doubts about the relationship.
5) He will be a great husband and father
Nice guy: He understands what a true relationship is and takes responsibility for being a part
of it. He is kind, generous, loyal, dependable, and fun. The great qualities a nice guy has are the same qualities that will make him an ideal husband and loving father.
Bad boy: He won’t change once you marry him. Think he will care more about you and the relationship once you have his child? Sadly, you will be forever longing for the qualities he lacks…and picking up the slack.
6) He respects you
Nice Guy: A nice guy thinks about life, relationships, and women in a meaningful and deliberate way. He cares about your opinions and remembers your favorite things. He surprises you with a thoughtful comment or gift. You know he is thinking about you and your needs. He values your opinion and takes what you say into account.
Bad boy: He doesn’t pay much attention to anything you like. His primary focus is on himself and his needs. He does think about you, but only in terms of what you can give him.
As a matchmaker, I meet all different types of men every day. The nice guys are the ones that always stand out to me as the best catches. While the thrill of a new romance will inevitably fade, the way your partner treats you will never change. So, stop getting stuck in a net of not-so-nice guys and give the nice guy a chance. Your future self will really thank you.