By: Lindsay Fisher, Three Day Rule Matchmaker
As matchmakers, we’re often asked how we determine compatibility between two people. Beyond the basic personal and lifestyle preferences a person has when searching for a partner, there are certain intangibles that we know must exist in order for a match to really work. We rely on a variety of factors, including our intuition and past experience, to determine whether or not a person is the right fit.
You’ve taken her out several times and things seem to be going well, but does she have staying power? Here are a few indicators to look out for to help you determine if she’s a promising match.
1) She doesn’t play hard to get
We may be called “Three Day Rule”, but that doesn’t mean we adhere to it. The modern dating landscape tends to feel like a game when we’re given rules about when or how to reach out or respond to someone we’re romantically interested in. We’re taught to wait an hour before responding to your text or call you back a day later in an attempt to show you that we have busy, independent lives that don’t involve us staring at our phones waiting to hear from you. We do this even when we’re on the couch, in the middle of a Netflix binge, and every fiber of our being wants to text you right back. If she throws these rules out the window, you’re in good shape – she wants to be available to you.
2) You laugh together
You vibe off of one another, and that can take many different shapes – you may have a similar sense of humor or you may exist on opposite ends of the comedic spectrum. You may both be spitfire, antagonistic flirts and revel in witty repartee. Or, her fluent sarcasm may go straight over your head, and she may think that your Rogen-esque humor is absurd. The point is that you laugh anyway and truly let go. You’re not afraid to get silly or say the wrong thing, because you know that you can’t.
3) You’re relaxed around her
So much of human communication is non-verbal, so pay attention to your body language as well as hers. There’s certainly a level of intensity and focus that can be expected when you’re first getting to know a person, and that comes from a place of genuine interest – you may lean forward in your chair at dinner and hold her gaze without breaking eye contact. These are both good things, of course, but take notice of your posture and facial expression. Are you rigid and tense, or are you comfortably inclined toward her? Are you staring or are you admiring? Take note – a keeper will make you feel comfortable and relaxed.
4) She lets you be the man you want to be
She lets (and wants!) you to enjoy the role that you naturally occupy. For example, she may not expect chivalry, but she enjoys it – she lets you open her car door, carry the groceries, and appreciates when you insist on picking up the tab. She values her independence and self-sufficiency, and you both know she’s capable of doing all of these things on her own. You even admire her for this. However, she’s confident enough to know that you recognize these things, and that your goal is to provide some form of comfort. This doesn’t just apply to gentlemanly gestures — whatever her burden may be, large or small, she’s willing to let you help carry the load sometimes.
5) She enhances your life
When you first start seeing someone more seriously, it’s easy to drop the ball in other aspects of your life because all you want to do is spend time with one another. A keeper complements your lifestyle and will not distract you or pull you away from what you’ve been doing up until the day you met. She encourages you to maintain your gym routine, spend time with the guys and go on family vacations. She knows she’s a priority, but appreciates that you’re multi-faceted and have other obligations too. A keeper will know that you don’t need her, but that you want her – a choice we make every day in our relationships.
While the above may be good indicators of a promising match in the beginning stages of a relationship, a keeper will exhibit all of those points well beyond the first date. They are important in maintaining a successful relationship as a whole!
What are some signs or clues that you look for that demonstrate blue skies ahead? Looking for a better way to meet quality women that exhibit the signs above? Set up a meeting with a TDR matchmaker for free! Click here to get started.