Last night’s episode of Morgan Spurlock’s “Inside Man” on CNN highlighted the challenges and opportunities that come with dating in the digital age. We had a great time training Morgan to be a real-life matchmaker and giving viewers a peek into the in-depth process our matchmakers use every day to help singles find love.
Here are five important lessons in dating from last night’s episode that you can apply directly to your love life:
1) Don’t be too eager. The first date between Carrie and her match was going well…until he invited her and her children to his weekend home at the Jersey Shore. Even if the offer is well-intentioned, asking a woman to a weekend getaway on the first date is too much, too soon. It’s great to give signals of interest during a first date, but be subtle about it. If you feel the date is going well and there is mutual chemistry, it’s fine to casually mention setting up a second date for dinner or to a concert for a band you both like. Just don’t mention any travel plans or weekend trips until you’ve spent more time together.
2) Be proactive and make the first move. Morgan’s advice was spot-on when he encouraged Bianca to be proactive and make the first move online. Most men aren’t used to being the recipient of messages online so they will welcome the fact that you reached out first. Apply this philosophy when you’re out on the town as well. Why wait for him to come talk to you? Don’t be shy and approach him first.
3) Enjoy the process. Morgan literally took the words from our lips when he said, “Don’t treat dating like an interview.” We often share this mantra with our clients because it’s easy to forget that dating should be a process that you enjoy. Resist the urge to grill your potential mate on the first date on things like their dating history, their career prospects, or family relationships. Instead, try to focus on light topics like shared interests and hobbies.
4) There are no excuses. We agree with Dr. Helen Fisher that you should stop making excuses for why you’re single. Instead, why not make finding love a priority in your life? From real-life matchmakers to online dating apps, there are plenty of options to help you jump start your love life. If you’re serious about finding someone special, you should open yourself to different methods of dating to see which one works best for you.
5) Don’t forget to focus on the the real world. You’re much more approachable when you’re not looking down at your phone all the time and actually looking at the world around you. Instead of swiping away when you’re out at a bar, make an effort to mingle with those right in front of you!