Suffering from a lack of dating advice? Didn’t think so. Your mom, your 14-year-old niece, and the entirety of Twitter have weighed in on how to manage your love life. We’re sick of it, too.
Don’t get us wrong, we like a good advice column as much as the next person. What we can’t stand are the endless articles with attention-grabbing headlines that don’t actually give you any information. They’re not helping you.
If working with hundreds of sexy singles every day has taught us one thing, it’s that people secretly want our brutally honest take, the real dirt that doesn’t make it into mass journalism. Guys love their beards, but do the ladies? Women love gladiator sandals, but are they the sartorial equivalent of kissing your grandma? This is the stuff you have told us you really want to know.
With that in mind, the Three Day Rule team mustered up our courage and asked singles the tough questions, the confessions made only in your head that are the real game-changers. We present you with the uncensored, downright dirty, version of our findings.
“If it’s date 1, 2, or 3, and I let you walk me to my door (a clear indicator that I want to be kissed) and you DON’T kiss me, I’ll think you’re a pussy and I won’t want to see you again.” -Female, 33
“Not only do I Google the guys I date, I perform an entire online background check- Instagram, Linkedin, Facebook, you name it, I’ve stalked it.” -Female, 41
“How interesting, please tell me more about your moral objections to Kim Kardashian’s photo shoot.” -Male, 31
“Single guy with dog = cute. Single guy with cat = sad lonely and kind of creepy.” -Female, 27
“I honestly believe that most guys consider me “out of their league”” -Female, 36
“If one more girl improperly uses ‘literally’ in conversation, I’m figuratively going to hang myself from the rafters.” -Male, 39
“I wear really skanky outfits when I go out so that I get more attention from guys than my friends do.” -Female, 24
“Sometimes when I’m messaging a lot of different guys at once I write their details down so I don’t get them confused.” -Female, 28
“Gladiator shoes are a boner-killer” -Male, 33
“I’ve made out with guys who I’m not sexually attracted to because in that given moment it would have been more awkward not to.” -Female, 29
“When I’m in a cocktail dress and heels, and I’ve clearly spent the last hour getting ready, I better get a compliment…even if you prefer the natural morning look.” -Female, 42
“Feel free to wear that mini-skirt after the age of 35 if you have the legs to go with it.” -Male, 55
“I take advantage of drunk guys by asking them about their feelings and knowing they will be honest but not remember it.” -Female, 28
“Don’t even get me started on graphic tees…” -Female, 31
“I won’t go to certain bars with certain friends because they’re not pretty enough. It would completely kill my game.” -Female, 32
“We see right through the ‘my friends have been asking what we are’ question that you usually seem to throw at us on a third or fourth date.” -Male, 28
“I start lying to guys at bars as a way to entertain myself when I realize they’re not interesting and I would never sleep with them.” -Female, 34
“If I’m texting a guy late at night, I won’t say goodnight I just text him the next morning continuing the same conversation so we don’t have to say goodbye and we have an excuse to keep talking.” -Female, 27
“The tightness of the jeans I wear to the bar is directly correlated with the age of the women that will be there. The tighter the pants, the older the women. It’s like changing the bait on the end of your fishing rod. Literally.” -Male, 41
“Everyone knows “I’m too busy with work” is a lie.” -Male, 29
“High-waisted shorts and pants ruined Coachella. In other words, please don’t wear them ever.” -Male, 37
“When i am dating someone I change other guys names in my phone to girls names so I don’t get caught texting other dudes.” -Female, 27
“If you brush against my leg, and I’m freshly shaved, I’m well prepared for later in the evening, but if I’m wearing Spanx, all bets are off.” -Female, 43
“Guys used to use a beard to cover a double chin, now they all seem to take pride in looking like a bunch Mumford and Sons wannabes.” -Female, 39
“Do not talk to me about ‘back in the day’… aka the 70’s.” -Female, 52
“I make up nick names for all the guys I like or hook up with (BBK, Pool Boy, Ranger Keen, sexy Scott, Timid Tim).” -Female, 31
What are your own dirty dating confessions? We want to hear them! Tweet us at @threedayrule and tell us what you really think!