By: Erika Gershowitz, Three Day Rule Matchmaker
Dating should be fun and exciting — but instead it often feels like a mythical adventure that we are forced to navigate. There are “rules” and blurred lines that everybody is expected to know, and there are ever-changing technologies that can seem impossible to keep up with. Sometimes all you need is another perspective. As matchmakers, we see dating from a whole different viewpoint. We’ve worked with amazing people who have faced, questioned, and overcome these myths — and came out the other side feeling more confident.
Here are some of the most common dating myths, busted:
The “three day rule”: Yes, people still think this is a thing, and yes, this is where we got our name from. The “three day rule” says that a guy should wait three days after a date to call a woman back. It’s supposed to make the woman want him more. We know that dating should
be free of these kind of rules and games — if a date went well, call her for another! Games confuse and discourage. Too many missed opportunities occur when this sort of game-playing happens. Three Day Rule chose its name as a cheeky ode to a dating experience without these games.
You’ll know at first sight: We’ve all heard the stories of people falling in love at first sight. However, what we’ve found is that oftentimes, chemistry builds as rapport builds. Whether you’re being set up online, through your matchmaker, or through a friend, try to remain open-minded and don’t judge solely on a photo or physical appearance. As matchmakers, we work tirelessly on our clients’ behalf to find matches that we truly feel will be a good fit. When we present a match, we know that they share similar values, priorities, hobbies, and common interests. While physical appearance is very important, we know it’s crucial to have an open mind — it’s just another opportunity for daters to learn what they really want in a mate.
You should treat dating like a job: A date is never a job interview, so try not to act like it is. While it’s easy to fire questions at a date in hopes of getting to know them, it’s better to let conversation flow organically. It’s better to listen to what they have to say and slowly decide whether their thoughts, values, and sense of humor could be compatible with yours. On a similar point, daters often allow dating to become a job or a chore. Dating should never be something you dread. Even if you set goals for dating, keep them light and positive. It’s easiest to meet good people when we feel good about ourselves.
Dating is just about getting to know the other person: Yes, a big part of dating is about getting to know the other person. But with every date that you go on, you have a chance to get to know yourself a little bit better, too. All of our insecurities, quirks, and skepticisms may bubble to the surface when we’re dating. Rather than pegging this as a challenge, it’s important to see it as an opportunity. We are constantly working with our clients to ensure that during the process of dating, they are learning more about themselves. Knowing yourself is the key to understanding what you really want in a partner.
As matchmakers, we often compare ourselves to personal trainers. Trainers encourage their clients to be proactive in all other facets of their health — we can’t just work out and hope to see the best results; we also have to eat healthy and be active outside the gym.
To that point, we encourage our clients to be proactive in their love life even while working with us. If they’ve been online dating, we advise that they continue using results-driven dating sites like Match. We urge them to spend time going out to events and even continuing to be set up by friends if they feel comfortable.
The difference is that while our clients are out enjoying their life and searching for “the one”, they can rest assured that someone else is out searching every corner of their city with a trained eye and fine-tooth comb, relentlessly looking for that perfect fit. We are professionals that are privy to all of these myths and rules — and know exactly how to work around them to get the results that our clients deserve and put the fun back in dating.
To learn more about working with a TDR matchmaker in your city, visit www.threedayrule.com.