By: Mary Stuart Deibel, Matchmaker, Three Day Rule
Have you ever noticed there are some women who always get attention from men whenever they are out and about? Maybe you have a girlfriend who seems to have the best luck meeting eligible men when she is out on the town. Or, you hear stories about the co-worker who has scored dozens of dates from different men she has met at the same after-work happy hour spots you’ve hit up so many times…without much success.
Why are these women getting approached more than you are? Good news – it’s not because they’re more attractive or have better luck than you. It’s simply because these women have mastered the art of getting his attention. They know how to send the right signals to encourage men to approach them time and time again.
Here are a few tips to help you get the attention from men that you deserve:
1) Don’t travel in packs! If you’re going out with the intention of trying to meet new guys, try going out with only one or two other girlfriends. It’s intimidating enough for a guy to approach a woman at a bar. Now, imagine how much more daunting it is for him to approach a whole group of girlfriends who are laughing and having a good time together. Don’t make it harder for him than it already is – stick to a smaller crew of women when you go out.
2) Be approachable. If you’re sitting at the bar with your girlfriend, don’t face the bar or each other because this makes you look closed off and uninterested. It’s harder for a man to approach you when your back is turned away from him or when you are engrossed in conversation. Also, folded arms around your chest pretty much scream “not interested.” Instead, turn your chairs or stools outwards – this shows guys that you’re open to meeting them and makes it easier for them to make the first move.
3) Be polite. If a guy approaches you and your initial instinct is “no, thank you,” don’t immediately dismiss him. First off, looks can be incredibly deceiving so give the guy a few minutes of your time to see if there might be anything in the conversation that changes your mind. If you still aren’t feeling it, keep it classy and find a polite way to excuse yourself. Other men that you might be more interested in may have been watching your interactions, and if you treat someone you’re not interested in badly, it could deter others from approaching you. It’s also best not to burn bridges because you never know who the guy might be friends with – he could be rolling with a fun, attractive crew of men that you would be interested in getting to know better.
4) Chat up the bartender. If the bar isn’t too busy and there don’t seem to be a lot of prospects at the moment, chat up the bartender. Befriend the bartender and let him or her know what your type is and who in the crowd you are attracted to. Bartenders have great insider knowledge and know all of the regular patrons. Get them on your side and they could end up being your biggest advocate. They even have the power to make a personal introduction between you and a regular the next time the two of you happen to be at the bar together. Another good reason to get to the bar early.
5) Scan the room. Don’t be afraid to keep a pulse on the crowd to identify prospects you could be interested in. Once you find him, try to catch his eye and then smile, but only for a brief moment. Such subtle encouragement gives men the boost of confidence they need to overcome their fear of rejection and approach you first.
6) Be proactive! Try going to bars with interactive elements such as pool, darts, or other lawn games. Not only will these bars be teaming with groups of eligible men, the activities will also give you the perfect excuse to challenge a group of cute guys to a game. Once you engage in a shared activity, you will be able to quickly break the ice and start flirting with the guy you’re interested in during the course of the game. Angel City Brewery in downtown LA and Barney’s Beanery (which has locations all over LA) are great spots to test this out.
What tips work best for you when you’re trying to catch his eye? I’d love to hear more – email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.