By: Talia Goldstein, CEO and founder of Three Day Rule

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Picture this: you’re living a fabulous, independent, fulfilling life with a career that you are passionate about and a packed social calendar.  You are busy and active, and are proud of the many professional and personal successes you have achieved so far.  But, perhaps you’re starting to realize that having a special someone to share your life with might just be that one missing piece in your life.  Sound like you? If so, working with a matchmaker could be the perfect solution.

At Three Day Rule, our goal is to help amazing singles like yourself find high-quality partners though a more personalized, hands-on approach.  Our matchmakers pre-date for you and only bring you the most compatible matches after they have personally met each of the potentials in-person.  Working with a matchmaker puts the fun back into dating because she only brings prospects that are already excited to meet you!  If you’re considering working with a professional matchmaker (or are currently working with one), I wanted to share some quick tips on how to make the most out of your relationship with your matchmaker and the overall matchmaking experience.

10461936_10152622204520030_6961416271873566439_nStay Proactive.  When you get a trainer at the gym, you aren’t going to see results if you don’t adopt a holistic approach to your health.  To see the best results, you need to supplement your 1:1 trainer sessions with your own work-out regimen, balance out your diet, and cut out alcohol and sweets.  Working with a matchmaker is similar in this regard.  This may sound counterintuitive, but just because you hired a professional matchmaker doesn’t mean you should stop all efforts on your own.  In fact, many of our clients have told me that having a matchmaker gives them a boost in confidence, a more positive outlook on dating, and sometimes even a sense of relief.  I’ve seen this directly translate into happier, more relaxed, and confident versions of clients and the results can be quite telling.  Channeling the optimism that they feel from working with a matchmaker, many of our clients begin experiencing success even when they are going out on their own to meet new people.  Confidence is sexy and most people can sense it from a mile away.  Why not take advantage of this to its fullest? Bottom line: While working with a matchmaker, stay proactive on your own by continuing to have an active social life, seeking out new friends and outlets of meeting new people, and even continuing to do online dating!

Screenshot 2014-08-22 14.47.23YOLO.  Do you really need to date someone with a perfect resume? Or obsess over a list of 100 “must-have” criteria? Trust us, a little open-mindedness and flexibility goes a long way.  I can’t tell you how many clients I have worked with who initially wanted to stop seeing someone after a lukewarm first date or because he looked like he was maybe half an inch shorter than her height criteria.  For those clients who decided to have an open mind and give someone a second date, many are now happily in a relationship or even married.  Remember that you only live once so make the most out of it! You should be with someone who makes you laugh, adores you (despite your quirks), is loyal and fun, and shares common values…even if he doesn’t make a six figure salary or didn’t graduate from an Ivy League school.  You don’t want to regret marrying someone for their resume so open up your mind to the possibility of dating a different type of person. Trust me, nobody cares who you marry, as long as you are happy.

10556843_10152636655635030_3506756848751475284_oBe respectful.  Think of your matchmaker as your friend and teammate who wants the very best for you and your love life…but not your personal assistant. You will get so much more from your matchmaker if you treat her well.  At TDR, we welcome your honest feedback after all of your dates because we want to make sure we are on the ball in terms of finding you the right matches. However, there is a big difference between constructive criticism and lashing out with negativity without actionable advice.  When you are rude to matchmakers, they second-guess setting you up with their best matches, fearing that you might be rude to them as well.

 

 

Screenshot 2014-08-22 14.51.51It’s a Process.  Many of our clients didn’t meet the One on their first date with us. You may meet the One on date 4 or date 6.  Be patient and understand that this is a process.  Our clients who have seen the most success are those that have worked closely with us, and allowed us to iterate and hone in on matches over the engagement period based on their insightful feedback.  In addition to providing high-quality matches, our clients receive coveted perks and services (styling sessions, free photography, access and perks to lifestyle and beauty brands, to name a few). 80% of our clients refer a friend to us because they believe that the entire matchmaking experience, self-discovery, and learning process that occurs is worthy of the investment.

Have Fun!  We get it. You hired us because you are serious about finding a partner who will appreciate you, love you for who you are, and be committed. But, please stop putting so much pressure on yourself! The whole reason you have made this investment into your love life is so you can rely on the expertise of a professional who is devoting a significant amount of resources, time, and insight into finding you the best matches. The less pressure you put on yourself, the more likely you are to enjoy and learn from the experience.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride…and all the matches that your matchmaker is bringing you.  Be the best version of yourself and amazing things can happen!

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